The hospital last night was busy, but not so busy that you could not have a sit down and not so busy that you could not talk. Eric and I sat charting behind the main desk. I started just humming along with conversation, concerned about the cat. Earlier that day there had been a 'psychological' crisis..well.. it was a hormonal something or another related to dropping estrogen levels (I am sure) and the feeling that my head would fly off and so, driving the good twenty plus minutes to work I battled internally with old memories and other demons. and cried. And fought with..whatever...and cried.
Matt could see the red-rimmed eyes and forlorn look and somewhere between report and the time of charting and talking he walked over and gave me a quick shoulder rub and pat on the back, "Better?" he said. Yes.
The conversation with Eric was one that was carried throughout the unit the remainder of the night with Eric telling and retelling about how, while sitting at the counter, plugging information into the computer, I just up and said that I was concerned about Ron, the cat, and how sick he had become that day and how there was a fear I had of getting home and finding him dead and having to put him in a paper bag (there were no shoe boxes) and place the cat body, in the bag, out by the compost pile where it would freeze. Eric started laughing. What was so funny? "The way you said it..just..so casual.." (cavalier?) and then he did an imitation and I began laughing and Paula came up and he repeated the story and then told Dani and Stacey and Dee and Matt..enlarging on the story and laughing every time.
"Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope..." Job 11:17,18