Church this morning, second service because, well because I was watching CBS Sunday morning, of course. Dylan walked sleepily into the living room, "Do you want to go to breakfast at Ernie's (Cafe)?".."hm, maybe." "Well if not Ernie's then we could go to Cafe Berlin.." He was doing pull ups on the stairs. "Actually mom, I'm not really hungry." Okay. So I had more re-heated coffee and Amman came up the stairs and prepared breakfast and returned downstairs and then, I drove the gray morning drive to church.
Ray has been at his dad's house all weekend.
Friday I drove Richa down to the airport and that was fine. It was good to see the harvested fields, shorn golden, even rows with darkened furrows stretching across the landscape, and the trees, now bare of leaves, their branches inky black against the horizon. On the drive home Richa and Amman talked, English words breaking through, "snow". Yes, there were still patches of the light snow which had fallen, nothing of significance.
And this morning at church they touched on last weeks sermon and on the cleansing blood of Jesus and on forgiveness and heartbreak. It was good and I prayed with and for John, a short older man who has been in and out of the church for years, not unlike myself. But why did I ever leave? Selfishness and short-minded thinking and wanting to fill that deep hole in my heart with things other than God.
Why do tears sometimes feel so warm?
After church at home, cooking chicken breasts, then frying onions and tomatoes with garlic and salt and red pepper and combining it all, India-style. Richa came upstairs and stood at the kitchen door and we talked. She was asking about rings, do I wear them? No, never. Just my wedding band when I was married. But in India they believe that your birthstone in a setting where it touches your skin brings you good luck or positive energy. Well, perhaps in the future I will buy one ring to wear and it will contain my birthstone.
This week I told Richa that the house would be put on the market in January. Things have gotten to the point where it is no longer feasible to remain here and it is unfortunate because she has been a wonderful roomate. Nonetheless, perhaps it will not sell or perhaps I shall write a good book to publish or perhaps... And with this decision there is a weight taken off my shoulders. The long term financial feasibility of this place has always been in question and why I didn't leave it on the market this past fall? Because everything works together for good. Because Richa and Randy both were in need of rooms to rent. Because my gut said...
"..for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:14